Before there was the blogosphere

Way back in 2001, the summer between my eighth and ninth grade years, I wrote this.  I just found it among some memory items and photos.  I have pretty much lost all of the journals prior to 2003, but I remember them being filled with lists of how I can be a better child.  I remember constantly asking myself why couldn't I just behave?  Why couldn't I complete my chores?  I so badly wanted to be wanted, and there was a dream that somehow I was good enough just the way that I am.  

Since I wrote this Journal entry:

• I stretched myself artistically
• I played sports
• I graduated from high school
• I spent my first semester of college in Scotland, UK
• I became a Callie Award Winner
• I found a permanent loving family which includes both birth members and my foster mom. 
• I was an outstanding young leader for Fosterclub.
• I became a champion for many things, mostly child welfare system reform
• I graduated from a four year college
• I have international connections 

Now, I am still working on that book idea, and while I haven't invented anything... I am a visionary and have created change.  I can look at something and imagine what it could be.  At this point, I'm not sure what I would tell the little girl who wrote this entry, because apparently she had it in her all along.  A survivor, a strong person, assertive, and brilliant.  

Broken Ties

I fall hard for my siblings at Lisa's house.  I like coming home to mentor and spend time with them.  They remind me that not everything I do has to be uptight and with purpose.  Our sibling-hood is usually pretty temporary, and its never for certain how it will end.

There are a few siblings that I've fallen out of touch with rather abruptly.  I wonder how they are doing, and if they are making it.  I wonder why I can keep in touch with them.  So I hold our fun memories close, and I try to remember how strong and resilient each and everyone of them is.

It still hits me like a ton of bricks, oh the pangs of nostalgia!

I miss them, and I hope that our bond is of the type that starts where it ended.  I dedicate this blog to each of my foster brothers and sisters out there, whether I met them at Lisa's or not.

Mountains

My blogs are forgotten until I sit down, and am supposed to be doing something else.  I'd love to be able to get to a place where I have a post every day.  I just am not, and I'm working on being fine with that, along with being fine with where I am in other areas of my life.

I often look back at the mountains, hurdles and crevasses God has gotten me over in the past.  I rarely, stop and reflect on them.  I never really praise and thank him for that.  This was pressed into my heart just now at 4:19pm as I am writing this by a Facebook status from a friend, and it reads,

" Thank you Jesus for every mountain, you brought me over, for every trial you seen me through, for every blessing hallelujah for this I give you praise!!!"

I struck me, and I felt compelled to write this on my blog.  Every tear and broken heart I have felt in the past, has been another milestone in my life.  I'm a survivor and I cope.  I'm at a point now where it is time for me to take down all of those intriguing mechanisms that have helped me survive, and reprogram that so that I can be a more open, and efficient adult.  I'm at a place where I am ready to leave all of that behind in a way that I can continue to honor it, but not carry it.  I'm tired of carrying it.  The next few months will be hard work, and I have very special people with me along for the ride.

Love,

Babs<3

Social Workers are Warriors

I've got my feet shod, in the preparation of peace.

I have the sword of the spirit, and the shield of peace

I've got my breastplate of righteousness

and my helmet of salvation.

I put on my armor and I'm ready for the battle,

I'm ready for the battle.

I'm a soldier, in the army of the lord,

I'm a soldier in the army...

Above is a song we like to sing to the kiddies in my church.  Its a good song to get prepared for.


Social workers wear many hats.  We are messengers, comforters, service providers and professionals.  We investigate, we assess and we mediate.  We care, we empathize, we cry and we get back up.

I would wage that our biggest hat is that of the warrior.  We are brave in the face of crisis, and everyday we are preparing for battle.  We've lost a great many to our cause, mostly from burn-out.  We stand in the face of injustice, and when we get knocked down, you can betcha we're getting back up.

Bravery
Courage
Resilience
Strength in numbers
Inner-strength

Not only do we have these qualities in ourselves, we give them to our clients.  We give them to our clients so that one day, they too will be warriors.  I hope that one day they will be able to conquer all of the systems that brought them to my desk in the first place.  Until then I will be standing there watching over them.  I will take a bullet for them.  Thats Radical, thats social work.