Struggle!

Today was hectic!  I was in training, and I started getting these frantic emails, texts and phone calls!  haha.  The organization I work for was trying to get me to renew my  insurance so that I could continue to work with them.  It brought me back to being a case worker though.  I couldn't even go to an important day of training without emergencies and perceived crisis dragging me away from knowledge!

Afterwards though, as it all resolved itself like it usually does, I thought to myself, "Why did I panic?  Why didn't I go to God with it first?  Wasn't he the one blessed me with this work?  Wouldn't he then take care of me in a way that allowed me to continue with this work?."  I've been really working on a few things, instead of the monster list I usually find myself working on.

Self-Discipline- This really is the bane of my existence and is at the heart of why I struggle with life!  A lot has lead me to struggle very deeply in this area.  With a story like mine, it was easy to fall into a victim roll growing up.  Which lead to using it in high school and college which were key years for getting good independent skills. Since I struggled with assignments and deadlines, there was a certain leniency that let me drift by without many pitfalls.  I was well liked as a student, and excelled in the classroom.

Now, I desperately want to turn things around!  It will take one step at a time.  Soooooo my first step is waking up at the same time every morning, and earlier on days that I have training. Egads!  I'm already nervous about it all.  I already feel anxious about my ability to complete this.  I'm already afraid of failure.  I'm always hopeful, but I also want to succeed so that I can move onto the next task.