Monday, March 15, 2010

Saving the World

I've been feeling a lot like a lost cause lately.  I haven't gotten a hang of being a social worker yet.  I have so much work that is behind.  I forget to return phone calls.  I'm not as on target with my clients as I should be.

A few weeks ago I found myself in my supervisor's office, telling him that I couldn't do this position.  I was telling him that I needed one that I could flourish in.  I just couldn't be a social worker without being a liability to my agency.  He's been so VERY patient, and un-micro-managing as possible.  Basically it was my own guilt at not being able to catch up that made me feel this way.

He said to me, "why didn't you tell me you felt this way?"  He told me that he hasn't given up on me, and that if he wanted to fire me, he would have let me know a lot sooner.  He wants me to do well and is very invested in my professional development.  He also said that if I could learn how to manage my time and tasks a lot better, that I could do this job.  He also said that if I can do this job well, then other jobs along the line will not be hard at all.  

I guess I kind of felt like me being a former foster child would make me perfect right off the bat.  Like I would be a super case manager with all of the answers and tricks to making things work.  When in reality, I'm just a right out of college, first time jobber, and ex-terrible student.  I'm going to have to grow and be honest about how I'm doing. My mistakes will sound very similar to many of the other people who are in my categories.  I'm not super human, I break easily and I tire out quite frequently.

So if I feel guilty, I just need to tell people where I'm at.  

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